were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sorry about my life...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize