I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize