she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Still dying that you shit outside
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
PANTIES FOUND
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