my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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