love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
