doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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