I love black thongs
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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