omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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