I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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