it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
