I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
