We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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