She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
