Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
