The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
