Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
