he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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