Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
