you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
