the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
