Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
