I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
