I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
