I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
