You're my little dorito
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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