You smell like stripper and shame
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
