He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
