i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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