If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize