I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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