we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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