Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
