wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
