I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He? As in you personified your dick?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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