ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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