plz talk dirty to me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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