we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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