I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
