Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
