I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on