The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
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I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
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I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT