Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
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Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Still dying that you shit outside
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower