We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
