also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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