I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
