just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
