he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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