My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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