my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
