I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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