woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i think we sleep fucked last night...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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