no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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