don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have fence marks all over my body
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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