and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
