oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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