Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
