and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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